Some Thoughts About Life

Sometimes, I really don't know about life. I know God has everything in control, and He has the most AMAZING plan for me, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I knew what it was. Some stuff just falls into place so amazingly, like living at the Casa next year, and making an incredible group of girlfriends this semester. And then some stuff is just frustrating, like what the heck I'm going to do this summer, why do I have so many boy problems, and if I really know what I should be doing with my life. All I really want to do is buy some 1000 acre ranch in the middle of Colorado and live with the mountains, and the sunsets, and the snow, and the rain, and marvel in God's glory. But then I realize, unfortunately, all that takes money and, that, my friends, is something I do not have. I'm majoring in business, but all I really want to do is get out of college, and get married, and have lots of kids, and ride horses. Nothing is necessarily going wrong with my life; I am just in a state of confusion and frustration. Christine said to me the other day after I told her that I feel life crashing in on me:

"Jenna, is God good?"
"Yeah."
"Is God good when amazing stuff is happening in your life and you feel his
presence?"
"Especially."
"Is he still good when everything is going wrong?"
"Yeah," I said.

But it made me think. I think I have the opposite problem of what Christine was insinuating. Most of the time when stuff is going crappy, I turn straight to God because I know He's the only one that can fix it. But often when things are going well, I neglect God and His influence because I just forget that everything that is happening is because of Him. This is so foolish. That's why yesterday I was so thankful to see his glory in everything he created because I forget and it makes me so sad. Why would I forget to praise God for all His majesty when everything is going so well? I don't know...

But either way, I think my point is that Christine is an amazing friend, and I just have to be patient with life. It’s hard to be patient. We are a people that want here and now. But I know I can’t even fathom the greatness God has in store. It seems that people say that a lot and they don’t look to the here and now. Right now God’s blessed me with incredible friends and the opportunity to go to a great school. He’s taught me more than I thought I needed to learn in these past 2 years. He’s given me opportunities that I can’t even dream, like going to Germany and bringing my horse down here. He’s constantly provided for me financially and let me live way above my means in many situations. I said two years ago, God has amazing things in store for me, yet I’m living them out everyday. Sometimes though, it’s sad because I don’t even see it.