Nobama

(originally posted in the Toronto Sun)

Obama's Victory

A victory for the hysterical Oprah Winfrey, the mad racist preacher Jeremiah Wright, the mainstream media who abandoned any sense of objectivity long ago, Europeans who despise America largely because they depend on her, comics who claim to be dangerous and fearless but would not dare attack genuinely powerful special interest groups. A victory for Obama-worshippers everywhere. A victory for the cult of the cult. A man who has done little with his life but has written about his achievements as if he had found the cure for cancer in between winning a marathon and building a nuclear reactor with his teeth. Victory for style over substance, hyperbole over history, rabble-raising over reality.

A victory for Hollywood, the most dysfunctional community in the world. Victory for Streisand, Spielberg, Soros and Sarandon. Victory for those who prefer welfare to will and interference to independence. For those who settle for group think and herd mentality rather than those who fight for individual initiative and the right to be out of step with meager political fashion.

Victory for a man who is no friend of freedom. He and his people have already stated that media has to be controlled so as to be balanced, without realizing the extraordinary irony within that statement. Like most liberal zealots, the Obama worshippers constantly speak of Fox and Limbaugh, when the vast bulk of television stations and newspapers are drastically liberal and anti-conservative. Senior Democrat Chuck Schumer said that just as pornography should be censored, so should talk radio. In other words, one of the few free and open means of popular expression may well be cornered and beaten by bullies who even in triumph cannot tolerate any criticism and opposition.

A victory for those who believe the state is better qualified to raise children than the family, for those who prefer teachers' unions to teaching and for those who are naively convinced that if the West is sufficiently weak towards its enemies, war and terror will dissolve as quickly as the tears on the face of a leftist celebrity.

A victory for social democracy even after most of Europe has come to the painful conclusion that social democracy leads to mediocrity, failure, unemployment, inflation, higher taxes and economic stagnation. A victory for intrusive lawyers, banal sentimentalists, social extremists and urban snobs.

Congratulations America!

Some Pics

Death by Ant Suicide

I woke up the other day and walked into the bathroom for my daily routine of peeing and teeth brushing, only to find, to my surprise, that over the night several guests had moved in. More than several, probably several hundred, and they continued to multiply as more came from the walls, from the mirror, scurrying along the floor, like rabbits, or my cousins in Kentucky, but worse. Ants, several hundreds of them, thousands of them, 462,931 of them, had decided to make their summer home in the hidden crevices of my bathroom.

It seemed the ants had taken an affinity to the fallen particles of toothpaste from my toothpaste tube, the little particles that begin to form from the leftover pinch that doesn’t quite get covered when I screw the cap back on, the particles which dry out and get all crusty and eventually don’t allow the cap to be screwed on at all. I think they were carrying those off to their secret ant colony behind the mirror and feeding them to their young. Disgustingly enough, ants eat by sucking the juice out of stuff, and then throwing the leftovers away, which means there were probably hundreds of microscopic waste particles of sodium bicarbonate or menthol or methamphetamines or whatever else is not juicy in toothpaste scattered about my bathroom sink. That required me to place the toothpaste on the shelf above the toilet out of the ant’s reach. Unfortunately, I forgot ants can climb walls, and they ate my toothpaste anyway.

Ants had overrun my sanctuary of personal hygiene, and they didn’t seem to be disappointed with their living situation. However, over the next few minutes I made sure they really hated their landlord. I smashed all the ants I could see in a piece of toilet paper, watched them swirl down the toilet, and continued my daily routine, running off to class, not giving the infestation another thought. Returning later that afternoon, I noticed all the cousins and their brothers had come to find their lost kin. But fear not, they stumbled upon the same fate, death by swirling toilet water.

I became a little concerned at this point, worried that if I went to bed I would wake up in the middle of the night to find that the deceased ants’ spouses were furious, had planned a coup, and were going to overrun me by throwing me over the balcony. Apparently, according to experts, ants can carry 50 times their own weight. And even though they weigh only about one fraction of a speck, if you multiply a fraction of a speck with about a billion ants times 50, I’m sure they could throw me over the balcony, no problem.

On the 12th of August in 2004, Michelle Poutney, a science reporter for Australia’s Herald Sun, the country’s largest newspaper, wrote an article titled “Invading Ants May Take Over.” Now, I don’t know what the article was in reference to, nor do I care; what I care about is that “invading ants” are possible and that they could “take over.” Some excerpts from her article include:

• “…ants have been found….to multiply out of control.”
• “A GIANT [sic] colony of invading ants...is...highly aggressive.”
• “…ants are…considered dangerous to humans.”
• “A co-operating group [of ants] acts in a coordinated, logical and pro-active way to achieve their communal aims.” (i.e. death by balcony overthrow)

I have the utmost of confidence in Michelle’s credibility, seeing as her title contains the word “scientific.” This means that, most likely, the ants in my bathroom will take over not only the rest of my house, but probably the whole block, if not the country. And, they will kill me. There is no way I could allow this proliferation, or allow myself to be brutally murdered by a band of homicidal, revengeful ants, so I went to Target and bought an ant trap.

The ant trap I chose was a little circle piece of plastic filled with ant death poison that one sets on the counter and (if one so desires) watches the ants, unbeknownst to them, enter and seek out their ultimate death. I felt quite the rogue, tempting them with sweet smelling bait and watching them kill themselves by their own stupidity. I picked one ant in particular that really pissed me off (because of the smug look on his face) and set the ant trap close enough to him that he could smell the toxic pleasantness, but not so close that I had personally ill fated him. What I’m trying to say is that he had a choice whether or not he wanted to die. I watched him for a good fifteen minutes. Granted I could have been doing something much more productive during those fifteen minutes, like studying for the midterm I had the next day or putting the grease fire out that had started downstairs in the kitchen, but I was so enthralled I couldn’t pull myself away.

I watched as Buddy the Ant, strolling along minding his own ant business, got a whiff of my trap. He came over to explore thinking, “hmmm…a sudden sweet-smelling addition to the already cozy ambiance of this beautiful new home, I wonder what it is? Looks like delightful goodness to me. I think I’ll go down this white tunnel, to that light at the end, that’s where the pleasantness seems to be coming from. But wait, what if it is a trap, oh well, I’m just a stupid ant, and there are 467 billion more of me in the world, it doesn’t really matter.” He slowly makes his way up to the trap, suddenly hesitates wondering if it’s too good to be true, then finally gives in and scuttles toward the delightfulness. Yes. Success. And it’s not a quick, painless death either, but a slow entrapment in the sticky goo wherein he starves to death. Buddy the Ant, it was too good to be true. I left in victory, making predictions about how many ants would meet their ultimate fate by the end of the day.

All this talk of ants reminds me of ant encounters as a child. When I was a little girl living out in the country with nothing to do but clean up horse manure and run around in the woods, probably naked, I would take my dad’s huge magnifying glass and go outside to burn things with the sun. I remember one afternoon, after burning leaves and sticks for about 37 seconds, my attention began to wane, and I sought out innocent creatures to torment. I found a worm in the grass, but it was too big and looked as if it could have a soul; I didn’t want to go to hell for frying a worm on the driveway. But next to the worm was an ant hill made of fine, sandy, Indiana soil. An evil smile crossed my face. Ants are perfect culprits because they are small and run around in capricious circles, making them a bit of a challenge, yet once that tiny beam of magnifying glass altered sunlight hits them, they spasm and seizure and shrivel up into a tiny exoskeleton speck, sometimes turning into a microscopic little flame for a split second and leaving the smallest of trails of ant-burning smoke. Sometimes, I chased them around with my light point because whenever they got close, they turned and escaped in some other random direction. I tried to get them to run into sideways Dixie cups just to see how many I could control at once. Those were the days.

Returning later that day to my ant trap, I noticed it was attracting quite the crowd. Everyone wanted to get a taste of this new fangled contraption, much like the hybrid car, but instead of getting a fuel-conserving, environment-saving mode of transportation, the ants died. I went to sleep that night less fearful of a coup d'état and more fearful the carcinogenic ant poison dust particles would waft up onto my toothbrush and cause my teeth to fall out. But you win some, you lose some.

What did I learn from the ants? Probably nothing, except that for some reason, I am obsessed with seeing them die. But maybe the ants did teach me something, in fact, sometimes I think life is a bit like my ants. They, like me, have specific goals in mind: feed their family with toothpaste, work hard, strive for success; but then something gets in the way, something bigger than us, something that has better plans for us than we have for ourselves, someone who has our best interest in mind to guide us in the right direction. (However, I certainly did not have the ant’s best interest in mind as I laughed loudly, pounding my fist into the air in victory when one of them met their fate by slowly, unknowingly, walking into my ant trap). But what I’m talking about is the good kind of intervention, the intervention of something which makes us better, stronger, and wiser in the end. This could be a person we passionately love; it could be a Zen Buddhism principle which grounds us and alters our way of thinking; or it could be God who reaches out and adjusts our paths with his little speck of light from a heavenly magnifying glass. We run away from what seems to burn us, to hurt us, and, often begrudgingly, take the path he’s planned.

But then again, maybe the ants didn’t teach me anything and this is just a lofty stretch to find the moral to the frankly moral-less story. In fact, the only real moral of the story seems to be that if you’re an ant, don’t live in my bathroom, and don’t cross me, I’ll win.

A Picture of War

I first saw the Gedächtniskirche on a bus tour of Berlin in 2005 when I was twenty. It was the only tourist attraction of which I didn’t take a picture. It didn’t feel right; capturing forever on film the memory of death and destruction Hitler reigned on Europe during WWII. Although the city of Berlin didn’t care if I didn’t think the memory should be preserved, the city had already decided to memorialize the church as a reminder and warning about hate and prejudice and what it can do to a people, a city, and a nation. And now, over 60 years later, the Gedächtniskirche stands sullen, hauntingly in Berlin’s center as a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

The Gedächtniskirche, built in the early 1890’s, was a busy church in the heart of Berlin before the start of WWII. Erected in honor of Wilhelm I, it was decorated with mosaics and sculptures that reflected his accomplishments. The building bustled with life every Sunday as patrons shuffled in to sing hymns, hear mass, and share in communion. The church was a sanctuary from the pressures of life, and with the growing tensions between political and religious groups in the early thirties, it quickly became a place of refuge.

A hollow tooth of a belfry is all that now stands of the Gedächtniskirche. Over half of Berlin was destroyed at the end of WWII, when Allied forces went on a bombing raid to prevent Berlin from becoming a concentrated area of Nazi military power. The attacks killed in excess of 4,000 people, injured another 10,000, and left 450,000 of Berlin’s inhabitants homeless. The city placed guards in the Berlin Zoo, not because the animals would escape their destroyed cages and kill the people still trapped in the city, but because those trapped would, in desperation, kill and eat the animals. As people were being shot for breaking into the zoo for food, their fearless leader was having statues, memorials, and shrines built of himself and erected throughout the city. In the end, Berlin was left in ruins, uninhabitable. To this day the city reflects the destruction it underwent from the Allied attacks.

The night of November 22, 1943, began a bombing raid that would leave 2,000 Berliners dead and another 175,000 homeless. People ran for their lives as bombs destroyed homes and buildings. Hundreds fled with nothing but the clothes on their backs to the Gedächtniskirche, to seek the safety and protection of the church. Yet the people’s one place of refuge could not shelter them from the hate and injustice of a nation at war.

As Allied forces dropped bomb after bomb over Berlin, I imagine people filed into the sanctuary of the Gedächtniskirche, covering their heads and ears as another explosion went off overhead. Young children were either screaming or crouched in pale fear, their eyes saucers. A woman cradled her infant in the corner by the front pews, shuddering at every rattle of the stained glass panes. Her husband didn’t make it out of their flat before it caved in from a blast in the adjoining building. The woman looked up to see her neighbor’s son collapse in through the tattered church doors, barely making it through shrapnel falling like rain. A group by the altar was crying out to God, but He didn’t seem to hear. Twenty seconds later a bomb fell on an adjacent part of the church, collapsing the belfry of the Gedächtniskirche and killing everyone inside.

And now, as a memorial to the horrors of war, what’s left of the Gedächtniskirche stands still and haunting in Berlin’s center, echoing the terror of the last few moments of so many lives. I couldn’t get the image of the ruins out of my mind and returned a month later to visit the caved-in chapel. As I stood in paralyzed awe on the opposite sidewalk across the broken church imagining what it must have been like for the people inside, I wondered why we continue to fight, and why we continue to destroy the lives of not only the enemy, but our own. The Gedächtniskirche may be an old, half destroyed building standing awkwardly amongst the center of luxury Berlin shopping boutiques, but it silently screams to the nations to wake up, look around, and ask why. Why do we continue the unrelenting horrors of war? I came out of my daze, took a picture of the collapsed belfry, and walked away.

The Burden of the Dancer

The burden to inspire falls upon the shoulders of those occupying the position of artist. Much like the painter uses the blank canvas, straying from words, to express profound emotion through the strokes of the brush and the convergence of a profuse outpouring of color, the stage is a dancer’s canvas. However, the canvas of the dancer does not hold a permanent record of brush strokes and colors. The influence on the audience is the only record of the masterpiece’s existence. This is the drive and importance of captivating the audience; an immense weight is carried upon the shoulders of the dancer, if the dancer fails, his or her moment will be lost forever in a dismissal from existence.

My handsome boyfriend.

So, I'm pretty sure that my boyfriend, Tanner, is the greatest thing that ever walked the earth. (then after writing that I felt it was a bit blasphemous, and would like to correct the fact that Jesus is the greatest thing that ever walked the earth, and Tanner is a close, close second). This top picture is at Erika's 21st birthday party, we are sexy :)

Ahh, precious...
Don't question me.
This was in Pinetop for New Years, best New Years ever!

Yay! I got a job!

Dear Jenna,

Congratulations! We are pleased to confirm your job offer to join the Target team as a Stores Intern. The Target Stores intern program is for a total of 400 hours and we are offering an hourly rate of $14.00. Prior to your start date, Target will conduct a background check, and you will need to complete a drug test within one day of your acceptance of Target’s offer of employment. Target will provide you with details regarding the location and time of the drug test. Target will also conduct a second background check, and an education verification, within 30 days of your start date at Target. This offer is contingent upon a successful background check and drug test.

As a Target Stores Intern you will get hands on experience in every facet of our business, work with a mentor who will help you identify and reach your goals, and complete a special project in a chosen area of interest. You will work with our store teams to hone your leadership, organization and communication skills. Upon completion of your internship, you may have the opportunity to interview for an Executive Team Leader position.

In order to receive the most out of your training, we want you stay as close as possible to your set schedule, which may include some nights and weekends. We will provide you timesheets to keep track of your training activities and time.

If you have questions please do not hesitate to contact Derin Briggs at (602) 400-4372.

We are excited about the future growth of Target and the role that you will play as a Stores Intern. We look forward to you joining our team.

Sincerely,

Tiffany Lewis½¤

Group Recruiting Specialist

Target Corporation

Work: 480-533-6126 ½Fax: 480-533-6132

Edifying Conversation with my Roommate, Michelle

Indy8jump (9:40:28 PM): that's not even a sentence!!
Ianagnmsc (9:41:16 PM): FULL OF SIN
Indy8jump (9:41:40 PM): YOUR MOTHER THINKS YOU'RE WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!
Ianagnmsc (9:42:54 PM): CLEAN UP THAT SHIT MOUTH
Indy8jump (9:43:41 PM): bitch....you didn't
Ianagnmsc (9:43:43 PM): I DID
Ianagnmsc (9:43:49 PM): your pretty.
Indy8jump (9:44:04 PM): you are beautiful
Indy8jump (9:44:11 PM): but seriously, get the hell back in your room
Ianagnmsc (9:44:50 PM): i am
Indy8jump (9:45:50 PM): fine
Indy8jump (9:51:53 PM): FULL OF SIN!!!

Concerts, Papers, and Such.

I went to a Format/All-American Reject concert with this cool guy whose name rhymes with Lanner.

 

And Also:
This is a great quote from a great source for the opening paragraph of a 10-page paper if one was writing about how the words one was raised on and the definitions one was taught with a Christian upbringing are different from people one encounters daily:

"Through this language socialization, children learn the behaviors that are culturally appropriate in their community." 

SnowbrdrKidd (9:57:00 PM): fuck

Annihilatory Continuum

I was studying in my organizational behavior book for my exam tomorrow and one of the points the book covered was the intensity of conflict. Now, to give a little background, the book creates these really unnecessary, unhelpful charts that have boxes or graphs and such with very much useless information in them. The one about conflict went a little like this:

Exhibit 15-3 Conflict-Intensity Continuum

Annihilatory conflict......... Overt efforts to destroy the other party
I
.........Aggressive Physical attacks
I
.........Threats and ultimatums
I
.........Assertive verbal attacks
I
.........Overt questioning or challenging of others
I
.........Minor disagreements or misunderstandings
I
No conflict...........................No conflict

First, the word continuum just makes me think of Back to the Future and how the flux capacitor was the gateway to the space-time continuum.

Second, at the highest end of this continuum we have annihilatory conflict, which means, you annihilate your enemies. I like the word annihilate, it rolls off the tongue so nicely. Maybe I'll make it the word of the day.

I like how they state the annihilatory conflict is the overt effort to destroy the other party. As in annihilate, right? Total destruction.

No conflict = No conflict huh? genius.

The chart just uses two of the best words ever, annihilatory and continuum....made my day happy, among other things.

Under Fire

Warning to Pay Attention

Why really do we serve God? Hebrews declares the sufficiency and supremacy of Christ over the Old Covenant. Over angels, Moses, priests, the tabernacle, and the blood of animals. And through this, we face the danger of not knowing his power over our salvation. Warnings are strewn throughout the book, the peril of ignoring the Word, the peril of unbelief, the peril of an immature faith, the peril of deliberate sin, and the peril of refusing God’s Word.

When the angels commanded the carriers of the Arc not to touch it, and one did, he died instantly. How much more is Christ over the angels:

“For to which of the angels did God ever say,
“You are my Son; today I have become your Father”?
Or again,
“I will be his Father, and he will be my Son”?
And again, when God brings his firstborn into the world, he says,
“Let all God’s angels worship him.”
In speaking of the angels he says,
“He makes his angels winds, his servants flames of fire.”
But about the Son he says,

“Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever, and righteousness will be the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.”

(Heb 1:5-9)

So to disobey the commands of Christ, of Jesus, how much more will we be judged:

“We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, how shall we escape if we ignore such a great salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard him. God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his will.

(Heb 2:1-4)

So to fall away from God, to disobey the teachings of Christ, is a scary thing. This man, our Savior, who is so much more powerful and higher than the angels, who can even fathom to disobey? Even disobeying the angels resulted in instant death; what then will happen if one disobeys the Lord?

Those Who Fall Away?

But what if one hears the Word, believes the word and falls away?

I’ve heard two views:

1. The first is from the group that believes once one is saved, one cannot lose that salvation. Thus, they approach this dilemma as “well then they weren’t saved to begin with. Because no one that is saved can fall away like that:

"And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his son. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life."

(1 John 5:11-12)

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”

(John 10:27-30)

2. The second view is from the opposite belief, that you can lose your salvation if you fall away from the truth:

Peter said, “It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of god and the powers of the coming age, if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace."

(Heb 6:4-6)

And what does fall away really mean? Can man really decide what is falling away, and what is not? “Judge not less you be judged (Matt. 7:1),” right? How can man look at another and declare his or her salvation? That is not our place. We do not know the heart of man, and thus, cannot judge it in any manner.

So have they just stumbled, or have they fallen? It is a sin they are able to repent or is it falling away and “impossible to bring they back to repentance? Do we really have the right to answer these questions? Can they repent, and do they even want to:

“If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.”

(2 Peter 2:20-21)

Yet, we are still supposed to approach God with confidence in our salvation, not fear :

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

(Heb 5:15-16)

Does having these two contradictory ideas a chapter apart make is appear that their must be a balance between the two? I think so.

Fear

But this still instills some fear in me…fear enough that I feel I need to worship out of requirement, and I don’t want that.

I do not want to worship my God out of fear. I’m not talking about a healthy reverent fear out of respect and honor, I’m talking about full out, “I’m afraid I will bring the wrath of God if I don’t follow all the rules” fear. I want to worship Him out of love, the love I have because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19) But is there a balance just as there is in confidence and falling away?

What About All These Questions?

It is good to question God, question his word; Paul did it all the time. If the Bible is truth, then it can stand up to questioning, and if it’s not, well, I haven’t seen it falter under fire yet. So what's the answer? I guess we'll find out...

I can't believe I work at Eagle Lake Camp

Eagle Lake Camp is the greatest place in the world. I'm moving to Colorado Springs and working at Eagle Lake until they kick me out. Maybe I'll work at the Glen until I find something better to do with my life. Life is good here. We had a lovely hailrain the other day that left some remnant snow on the ground. We had a snowball fight in July, me and my 19 and 18 year old campers who go to college that somehow slipped through the Eagle Lake cracks of only being allowed to attend if you are 8-18 and in high school. They were the best week of campers yet. But the best week of camp was most definetly advance trail blazers week. Not only did we have the guys there to hang out with us....(estrogen gets a little overwhelming after a while)...but we got to camp out and trail ride for hours at a time. Also we got stuck in a lightening storm miles away from camp and had to tie our horses to aspen trees and sit in the lightening position, on a hill, for 45 minutes, and get rain on for and hour and a half. We got back to camp at 2:30 and had lunch at 3:15 in the barn. We then ate dinner at 4:45....score. Life in Colorado is grand, I love it. The mornings feel like winter, the days are sunny and hot, and around 3:00 everyday we get a huge storm. Lightening is cool until it strikes trees and campers.

My campers last week played a little prank on me and asked Amy if they could put a pinecone in my sleeping bag. One pinecone turned into 16 and there were bugs crawling around my bed...fun. I thought that was bad until I got my campers this week:

First they put rocks down my pants and laughed as I screamed and ran around the barn like an idiot thinking that they had put horse poop down my pants.

They they dumped a whole nalgene of water on my head....and laughed more.

They then locked me in the outhouse.

At dinner, as I finished off a cold, tall glass of milk, they started laughing at me. I realized then that they had poured half the salt shaker into my milk.

They stole my boots and were stopped by Amy from throwing all my underwear in a tree during the hailrain storm.

And the clincher: While cleaning the stalls, they decided to throw poop at me, and hit me in the face ... several times.

But it's ok, because us girl couselors are going to steal all the guys stuff and anchor it in canoes in the middle of the lake. Should be good times :)


Life is good: I can't believe I work at Eagle Lake Camp.

Verse for the summer: Phil. 4:6-7

Eagle Lake Camp

I've been in the Rockies an hour outside Colorado Springs for the past three weeks at the Navigator's Eagle Lake Camp. We had two weeks of orientation and our first week of camp. Two horse campers came to Christ this week, I wish I could tell all about the crazy, fun, and horrible parts of everything, but I just don't have time. However, I had one camper who could not say a single thing that wasn't negative. For example:

I don't want to play a game, I've had bad experiences with games.
I've had bad experiences with hills.
I've had bad experiences with the dark.
I've had bad experiences with going to bed, waking up, running, sitting, listening to music, not listening to music, getting on a horse, getting off a horse, walking the horse, trotting, trail riding, eating, sleeping, breathing, ....... and the list goes on, and on, and on, and on.......

I also got a hoard pack of lies from her. Everything that came out of her mouth that wasn't complaining was a lie for example:

(I was talking to her about Jesus and the gospel) "I already know all that, I read the whole Bible....in one night." fun.

Anyway highlight and then I have to go get my laundry:
I went out in the middle of the night and sobbed for half an hour crying out to God for these girls. The girl above had decided to accept Christ, and I didn't know if it was truly genuine. He said, "Be still, my child, and know that I am God."

I can't begin to describe how amazing this place is. I can't even begin.

Indiana weather

The forcast from when my plane landed to when my plane is taking off is:

rain, showers, clouds: high 57, low 36

Rain, rain, and more rain.

Today I woke up, the wind was blowing the sky was grey and it was raining. Temperature: 44 degrees.

On the radio: "Here is your forcast from the national weather station: What you see is what you get."

I love Indiana weather.

I'm going to Indiana tomorrow!!!

Horse Show

Needless to say, Tucker was AMAZING yesterday. He didn't balk at anything (except a bush on the side of the arena in our warm-up round), and he took every jump smoothly and gorgeous. He started pulling and getting on his forehand a little toward the end of each course, and some in our flats, but AJ, Jerri, and Amanda will be working on that with him this summer. Little baby steps, so he will be very much prepared for the show the end of September. We won a bunch of seconds and thirds, out of 6 or 7, great for his second show and still only a baby!! He is doing incredible after coming back from his injuries, all this work is strengthening him tenfold. Last ride will be Tuesday afternoon, sad, but I'll get to ride all summer, so, so good. Then our group went to eat at Chuy's and talked about the show, about our horses, and riding, and whatnot for 3 hours, good times. I went to bed at 9:30; Tucker wore me out.

WHOO! HOO!!

HORSE SHOW TOMORROW AT SUNDANCE STABLES!!!!

I'm all packed, all ready, all trained, and going to bed at 8:30 to be up at 3:45!!!!

I LOVE HORSE SHOWS!!!

Good luck to me :)

Me at my last horse show, in my horse show garb.
Tucker and I jumpin' in up.


Hopefully, I will some more of the blue ones.

I love my pony!

The End of All Things

The End of All Things

She dropped a crumb
That attracted the ant
Which infested the house
And ate all the wood
So pest control came
Who on the way over
Ran through a sign
Which cause the poor lady
On the phone talking
To swerve and to scream
And worry her husband
Who worked at the airport
And looked from the screen
Then confirmed the wrong flight
Which baffled the pilot
Who lost control of the plane
And crashed into a field
which alerted defense
who labeled it terrorists
And called for a war
Then bombed a small country
Who fought back in anger
With a nuclear warhead
That leveled Manhattan
And caused worldwide panic
With bombs blasting cities
It was the end of all things
........As we know it…

................… and all because of a crumb.

Grand Jack

Grand Jack

She wakes up early, before the sun
Has risen in the East
She has a thousand things to do
A hundred at the least

The morning air is crisp and chill
Cold now, but soon to warm
Early sunlight rays poke through
As she drives out to the barn

She sees the course with eight tall jumps
And in front, the judge’s stand
As she walks in, through West Star’s gate
Show clothes in her hand

A high arched neck, soft dark eyes
And coat striking velvet black
His strong breath, a cloudy mist
Her jumping horse, Grand Jack

Jack is groomed to gleaming night
His mane is pulled just so
The saddle’s polished, the bridle’s clean
For today their big horse show

She tacks him up, shines her boots
And leads him out to hack
She pulls on her gloves, her helmet too
And ties her number ‘round her back

The butterflies are flying fast
Her nerves are strung full force
As they walk up to the entry gate
And ride in to jump their course

She trotted round in courtesy
As the judge signaled the go
She cantered Jack to their first jump
Their stride a rhythmic flow

Like an eagle, Jack took flight
Soaring through the air
A gentle landing, the perfect jump
Nothing could compare

Grand Jack and her nailed every one
The course was all the same
Until the last tall vertical
That’s when the trouble came

She thought she saw the distance but
One stride she failed to wait
And much to her great horror she saw
That stride would seal their fate

She asked for the jump too soon
The crowd gasped in suspense
As her and Jack, without control
Fell straight into the fence

Brushing off the dust she stood
Her crop still in her hand
Grand Jack rose, and gently shook
To brush off all the sand

She looked at the silent crowd
As tears welled in her eyes
Because today, her and Jack
Would not win the prize

She led Jack back to his stall
Her head held low in shame
Because of her they had failed
She was all to blame

But Jack he knew just how she felt
And nickered in her ear
She looked up to his soft eyes
And saw forgiveness strong and clear

She wiped the tears and stood up tall
As her face broke to a grin
Because she knew, her and Jack
Next time they would win

Tap the Rockies

I got a call on Friday, and I totally got the job in Colorado for the summer. I get to be the horse camp couselor for Eagle Lake, so much excitement. Also, I get to go home and see my family in 9 days, and I get to move in 7 days. Life is good, stressful, but good.

Estrogen Shots

I took my horse to Arizona Equine Medical Centre yesterday to get more tests and x-rays so they could check his problem and schedule him for surgery today. HOWEVER, when they took the x-rays, and looked at them on the computer, they couldn't find ANYTHING wrong. The problem is that the patella was catching on the surrounding bones, thus causing his leg to lock up, until he popped it back into place. Well, all the things that usually cause the patella to catch were normal. His bones didn't have sharp ridges on them, his ligaments weren't loose or torn, his femur and tibia were correctly placed, and his patella was correctly formed and set. The vet said that the problem was that after he had that time off for Christmas and because of his cactus injuries, when I started training him, his muscles, which had lost a lot of mass, reformed too tightly pulling his patella up and causing it to lock. So what I have to do is give him shots of estrogen, which loosen up his muscles, and give him consistent work, which reforms those muscles. SO AWESOME!! So, to fix him, I get to ride him even more than I did before. It really doesn't get any better than that. So I have 10 needles full of estrogen that I get to stab into his neck twice a week. I also decided I'm going to pull somewhat of a prank on Dave Heim and give him a horse sized dose of estrogen in his sleep. That should be interesting. But anyway, my point is that first off, my horse isn't hurt, and the only thing plaguing him will be fixed with consistent exercise. AND it only cost $500 and not $3000, which is most definitely great.

Finally some good news.

And I get to go to my horse show next weekend. Pure joy.

Joy

9 days till school is out. Joy.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

For Kyle Wade

This blog is reposted from myspace for the sole enjoyment of Kyle Wade, Kyle, I think you are awesome (most of the time):

P.S. I'm glad that you are now my friend :)


Three weeks ago my horse, Tucker, fell into a barrel cactus and then in recoil jumped into a prickly pear. By the time I got back to the barn he couldn't walk and had to have emergency surgery, which cost a lovely $334. I spent the better part of not just two hours, or two days, but two weeks trying to get all the cactus out of his leg. And there's still some in there :( Then, after he had been on stall rest for a week and a half of which I had to go out twice a day and give him medication and rewrap his leg, I put him in the pasture and not 10 seconds, literally 10 seconds, as I watched helplessly, he got kicked in the leg by another horse. I'm standing in the middle of the pasture in disbelief yelling at the other horse, ....YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!...I don't think he speaks English, dumbass horse. So then I spent the better part of the next week nursing my horse's front leg because it had swollen to twice its size. So finally, today, I was able to start riding him. With Christmas break added on, he hasn't been ridden for almost 2 months :(. He isn't completely healed, but he's ready to start some very light exercise. So today, which has just gotten progressively worse and worse, I went out to the barn to relax and ride. We had a great ride, trotted around a bit, gave him some grain, cleaned up my tack....and just as I was about to put him back in his pasture, the owner of another one of the horses in his pasture came up to me and said that his horse had a lung infection.
"A lung infection, is it contagious?" I asked, in a bit of hysterics.
"Yeah, it's really contagious; tons of horses in Tucson have it."
"Are you JOKING me??!?!?"
So I took my horse and put him at the other end of the property. I seriously was ready to cry...I don't even know what I'm going to do. I just have to sit around and wait for Tucker to get sick or not....
I'm tired and frustrated and distressed and pitying myself. Oh, and then I read a mean blog about me that made me cry, and now I'm just really pissed. So, I'm going to go eat a bowl of cereal in the shower. Sometimes, life just sucks, a lot.

Yes.

Yes.

Today

Sometimes, you just wake up and the first things that happen set the course for the whole day. I don't know if today is going to be a good day or a bad day, or if I can make it what I want. But so far, I have a lot on my mind and kinda just want school to be over. And to be honest, even though I know Eagle Lake would be incredible, and it would be a fulfilling summer working there, going home and just working a stupid job and writing and riding all summer sounds kinda great. I could go to Dave Matthews with Todd and finally have lunch with Dan and maybe be artistic or something. Then I'd get to see Christa before she leaves for London, and I'd get to see my whole family at her graduation party.

I got a B+ on my english paper. Good? I suppose, but once I revise it hopefully I'll get an A.

I don't really have much else to say.

A Few Things That Happened

A couple interesting things.

First, Alex actually apologized to me yesterday for all the deuschbag things that he did when we dated. It was a nice thing for him to do.

Second, I got to see Bonar, which was awesome, 'cause he's fun, and I never get to see him. We had an lovely dinner at North with like 20 people. We got to dress up pretty and eat overpriced food, and it was good times.


Third, Christine is like the bestest friend ever, for no particular reason, she just watches out for me and she's gorgeous!


Fourth, I still haven't heard back from Eagle Lake after my interview on Monday. The lady said two weeks, but I'm getting impatient.

Fifth, today is the last day I get to ride my horse before he gets his surgery and is off for 3 months...sad...and depressing :(

Sixth, and most importantly, I get to move into the Casa in like 2 weeks!!! Yay!!!


This is what it will be like in the Casa next year - take note of the confetti, we are having a good time.

Life goes rolling along, and we wait. Impatience: Waiting in a hurry.

We pray...that you may ahve great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks. Col 1:10-12

Easter Pictures

Here are some pictures of me and my family when I went to visit Indiana at Easter :)

My preshie family after Easter service before we went out to eat. I got to have two rootbeers because I'm a biggie girl now.


Making Easter eggs. My brother is in whitie tighties, funny.


Out to eat ice cream, I'm pretty sure my little brother cried because he wanted his sprinkles on top and not mixed in.


Some families play card games, some families go to the park, other families play board games, my family, we wrestle.

My dad beat everyone up.


Yay, Indiana, I'm going back in three weeks! 

GAH

I found out today, after my vet reviewed my x-rays, that my horse has to have a $3,000 surgery next Wednesday in Phoenix. I don't even know what I'm going to do.

Thank You

I stand before a crown of ten thousand
Nations, millions, bow before your throne
But disavow your grace
....................Time and time again.

Streets paved with gold we walk
To you, hands engraved with names
Of those depraved and watch
....................Angels entertain.

Our lost souls find salvation in the promise
Of your refined glory, blood shed
As they bind your hands and feet only
....................Death remains.

Heart of darkness washed white as snow
Through the sacrifice of one, the son
Of the Most High, for this we cry
....................Thank you, amen.

California

Tuesday March 7:
"I'm afraid my disastrous test paid off with a lovely grade of D. And not the 68% kind of D, no, it was the 60% kind of D. The kind that if it were one percent lower it would be an F. I really don't know what to think of this. I don't think I've ever even gotten a B on a test...so this was a nice awakening to the joys of failure. In fact, the class average was an F. An F. The average."

Sunday April 9:
"My stats test was so easy a kindergartner could do it. I got a 90/90, bitch."

I went to California this weekend which was awesome. Volleyball on the beach, laying out, chilling with people I haven't seen in forever. It was like a greatness reunion. As in, we are all greatness and we came together at Newport Beach to celebrate it. I also got to have In-and-Out and TK Burgers everyday, oh and ice cream everyday, which was almost like heaven. Christine ate a half gallon of Starbucks ice cream for lunch on Saturday. She is awesome.