Hi Jenna,
Thank you for your application for an internship with us here at Relevant
Media Group. At this time we will not be able to offer you an internship.
All of our openings have been filled. We do accept interns during the Fall
and Spring semesters also. If you are interested you can reapply online.
Thank you,
Kaley Crebs
Customer Service and Operations Assistant
Relevant Media Group
Friday, March 31, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Focus
I'm still sitting in the car listening to Crash, but now I am crying. I just got an email from the mission leader from the church in
"What do you want me to do!? I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"
Right now, I feel very lonely. Not an ‘I don’t have any friends and nobody loves me' lonely, but a lonely that makes my heart hurt, not a big hurt, not a lost somebody hurt, but a hurt that makes me sit in the dark of my car listening to Crash and write this. It’s a hurt that makes me turn to God and ask him to give me patience. A hurt that causes me to tear up, but no tears fall. ‘Nothing taken away, but there should be someone more’ kind of hurt. Someone, a man, to love me and hold me and take care of me. I want a man to love me so much it hurts him, hurts him like I’m hurting right now. To not want to live a day without me, someone who will die for me. Someone to give me security and strength and wisdom. A lump is forming in my throat, and I try to swallow. I just need patience, but patience is waiting for life to start not realizing I’m living it every day.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Driving Epiphanies
I realized today that roads are not extra-long straight racetracks with obstacles here and there such as motorcyclists and stop lights. I do not need to roll to red lights watching the cross traffic light for it to turn yellow so I can punch the gas as soon as possible and accelerate up to my cruising speed of 60 mph. I do not need to continue to accelerate to the stoplight until the last possible second and then slam on the breaks. Everyone in the front line of the intersection doesn't NOT find it necessary to race at every light. Getting to my destination two minutes sooner really doesn't make that much of a difference. I also realized that averaging 20 mph over the speed limit does not do justice to my driving record. And finally,
Thursday, March 23, 2006
I'm an Advocate for Leaving Home
For spring break I went to Mexico to work in an orphanage in Tijuana and Rosarito. I also went to Los Angeles to visit my aunt Kindra and my friend Adam from Indiana. I had somewhat of a life changing experience over spring break…these are a few of my thoughts:
First off, I didn’t have a life changing experience in Mexico. I had seen that kind of poverty before, and yes, it is very sad. I feel for those people that struggle just to eat. I saw the joy on their faces from the mere thought of receiving a bag of long grain rice we were handing out to those whose homes were in the town dump. Their houses, which were literally four pieces of whatever could hold up to make a square, were in shambles, and when they walked outside, they stepped into garbage. Spontaneous combustion methane fires were burning just under them, and most of the children were orphans, living in abject poverty. The orphanage was amazing. They offered so much to these children, most of them from the dump area. They received three meals a day, and clothes, and a safe place to sleep. But they were also offered an education, love, and hope. Some of the kids had even gone off to college and were planting churches in Mexico and the US. My favorite part was playing music with this guy Jesse from a school in Virginia I think, and with this other guy who lived at the orphanage and went to high school. We played guitar and drums and what not for over two hours. It really just goes to show how music is a universal language.
Not only was it eye-opening, but I had lots of fun. The group was awesome, and I love Rosie and our fun tobacco deep-conversation adventure. We brought guitars and marshmallows and built a fire on the beach the last night we were there. The moon was so bright it made the water almost glow. I felt very close to God that night. To see him in all his glory, even here, where there was so much pain. I could have sat there until morning, but it was cold, and I needed sleep.
My sorta life changing epiphany didn’t happen in Mexico, I occured it in LA when I went to stay with my aunt, Kindra. Kinda is awesome. She works in the editing department of Walt Disney on the Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, and 3. She’s a successful editor and lives 7 blocks from Santa Monica Beach. She built her own career from the bottom starting with nothing. But all this is not why she’s so awesome. She’s awesome because she doesn’t take life for what it is. She takes more. She appreciates family and art and simple things like coffee from the Coffee Bean. She doesn’t gloat or boast; she takes her ideas seriously and doesn’t believe what she does just because someone told her to. I just love her attitude toward life. We talked politics and religion and family, and I realized I have much more in common with her than I originally thought. So anyway, that’s Kindra, and she made me think about life, and being in LA made me think about life, and seeing my friend Adam’s photos at a show he was holding in LA at the time also made me think about life.
On a side note, I told my mom that I wanted to move to southern California. She said, “We’ll see.” She told me I couldn’t apply to school there because it was too far away. So I went to Arizona, the next state over. She said everyone in California is liberals and it’s full of freaks. I took a picture of a freak for her:
Tuesday morning, all depressed and annoyed with life, I sat in my English class and wrote most of this blog. I like to write stuff when I am really feeling it at the moment, or else it really doesn’t have the effect I want it to. First off, Kindra made me think about politics. Like I said before, we talked lots of politics. I just want to say for the record, just because of what I write or think doesn’t mean I’m turning into a crazy Canadian liberal. It just means that I want my views to be concreted on things that I believe. I’m not saying the liberals or the conservatives are right; I’m just saying, whatever you believe, believe it for a reason. I think that is where I have the most trouble because before I talked to Kindra, actually, before I came to college, I was a “very conservative Republican.” I wouldn’t even listen to anyone else’s ideas when I was in high school. I would have to say this is mostly because of my parents. Not that that’s bad or anything, but it just is the way it is. I think most people find that they believe most of what their parents believe until they either have a life changing experience or they go to college or they move away from home. I’m an advocate for moving away from home, it makes people think. My sister’s moving to London next year…good for her. Anyway…
I’m not saying that everyone has to change their political views to become enlightened, but at least think about what you stand for. One of the biggest issues in the country right now is abortion. There is an attempt right now, by the Republican run government, to reverse Roe vs. Wade. Now, being a Christian one would think I would give all hail to the Bush regimen to get this show on the road. But, I’m not, not even in the slightest. I’m not for abortion. I think too many women use it as a way out of an inconvenience, as contraception. But, outlawing abortion will only make women who can’t afford to leave the country for an abortion do it illegally. It’s dangerous; many women will be hurt because of illegal abortion. So many women get hurt now; they have serious uterus damage, etc.; imagine if it was illegal. I just think it’s a bad idea. And then these doctors will be working under the table, literally, and crime will ‘increase’ and all sorts of crap will stem from this. Does the government really think that making abortions illegal will stop people from having them, or more to the root of the issue, stop people from having unprotected sex? No. It won’t. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. This is just what I think.
My dad asks me, “So, have you become liberal yet?” just because I went to college. No Dad, don’t fret. But it does say something for the liberals. If most people who go to college are thinkers, are smart, then why is it that most come out of college liberal? I compare New York where most people I met were lawyers and could speak three languages to rural Tennessee. Liberal vs. Conservative. I don’t know, maybe they have something here. But then again, sometimes I think liberalism is an excuse not to take responsibility.
One thing I don’t understand is that the religious right conservative party seems to subscribe to: “you earn it you deserve it, and if you can’t earn it, then you just need to work harder.” I’ve heard many times (and sadly have even said myself) in response to seeing a bum or the poor, “why don’t they just get a job, even if it’s at McDonalds?” But then Kindra told me that during someone’s Presidency (I don’t remember who) the government ran out of money and had to close many of the insane asylums, so all these people, who couldn’t really function in a normal setting, were just sent out in the world. Now they are bums and getting rap for it. Can you blame them? But what did Jesus do? Seriously, I’m not just being cliché…he was friends with the tax collectors and the widows and the orphans and the prostitutes and the sick and the poor. But, oh no, isn’t that a liberal stance? What shall we do, oh what shall we do? I just bugs me. Jesus didn’t subscribe to a political agenda, in fact he avoided the topic all together, so why are we so concerned? I’m not very good at arguing politics…there are like three people I know that are, my friend Joel from Indiana, my friend Kyle, and my friend Brad from Germany. All completely different stances, but each knows what they believe and why they believe it. I don’t care what political agenda you subscribe to, just know why you subscribe to it…although I feel somewhat of a hypocrite because I can’t defend everything I stand for, and some cases I don’t even know what I stand for. I kinda feel like Kerry, pleasing everyone because I can’t set on something and defend it.
One thing Kindra asked me about was sex before marriage and how I felt about it. I told her I was saving myself, staying abstinent, until I get married. She asked me if this stems from religious beliefs or if it is more a personal thing. This really got me thinking. I mean, it definitely stems from religious beliefs originally. I probably wouldn’t think this way if I hadn’t been exposed to religion at an early age and made believe that this is the way the Christians do it. But I think now it is more of a personal thing, a gift I want to give my husband, to say I’ve been with no one but you, I’ve saved this for only you even when I didn’t know you. I think that’s awesome, but is it really because “I love Jesus” that I’m saving myself? To be honest, I don’t think it is. He gave us commands, and to be honest, if you follow them you’ll stay out of trouble, and I think that’s some of it. Think of all the trouble I’m avoiding my not having sex. No STD’s, no pregnancy, no strong emotional ties. I do feel convicted about having sex before marriage, and I know that’s a God thing…
I saw my friend Adam’s art exhibit about Uganda, and it really was moving. It made me want to go there tomorrow. It also made me want to pursue the creative bug in me. In high school I was so concerned with getting good grades that I didn’t take any art classes because you could only get A’s in them and not A+’s. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I love art, I love being creative, I love photography. The exhibit and Mexico just made me realize that there is something more out there. It’s like an emptiness that needs to be filled. Much of that is filled with Christ, but there is still this little hole that screams to me about loving people. I think it’s great when people bring the gospel to foreign lands, more power to them, but these Africans need more than the gospel. They need food and clean water and education and homes for orphans. I don’t want to go just to “proclaim the gospel” I want to go and do something just like we were digging dirt in Mexico. We were doing something, getting something accomplished for someone else, and I felt so alive. I want to go and do something. Mostly I just feel like something is missing from my life, like there’s something more than just going to college, getting a degree, getting a job, getting married, and living a cushy little life in suburban America. I just don’t know what it is. I need to find it, and I don’t know where to look.
Mostly I’m just sick of all this superficial bullshit. I’m sick of people saying they need to do something and don’t do it. I’m sick of people thinking the world revolves around them. Mostly I just want people to stop talking and take some action.
Me and Kindra at Universal after seeing the backlot and Wysteria Lane (yay):
Amazing photographer Adam:
On a lighter note, yesterday I was cantering to a jump on my horse and he spooked at a leadrope on the ground and ran out and I flew over his head, landed on my side in the dirt, hurt myself, and looked like a huge fool. This is exactly how it looked except I went over the jump and my horse didn’t (hehe):
At the Jump
During the Jump
After the Jump
I now have a large bruise on my left leg and my right hip doesn’t want to hold my leg up anymore, great.
On another lighter note:
A U of A golf cart that takes handicapped and injured students home and to class was driving down Mountain with two people in it. Right at the moment when the golf cart was passing an intersection an SUV decided that was the opportune moment to cross traffic. With a great squeal of tires the SUV smashed right into the golf cart. Luckily, no one was hurt, but seriously, funniest thing I have seen in a long time.
Footprints in the Sand - Santa Monica Beach
First off, I didn’t have a life changing experience in Mexico. I had seen that kind of poverty before, and yes, it is very sad. I feel for those people that struggle just to eat. I saw the joy on their faces from the mere thought of receiving a bag of long grain rice we were handing out to those whose homes were in the town dump. Their houses, which were literally four pieces of whatever could hold up to make a square, were in shambles, and when they walked outside, they stepped into garbage. Spontaneous combustion methane fires were burning just under them, and most of the children were orphans, living in abject poverty. The orphanage was amazing. They offered so much to these children, most of them from the dump area. They received three meals a day, and clothes, and a safe place to sleep. But they were also offered an education, love, and hope. Some of the kids had even gone off to college and were planting churches in Mexico and the US. My favorite part was playing music with this guy Jesse from a school in Virginia I think, and with this other guy who lived at the orphanage and went to high school. We played guitar and drums and what not for over two hours. It really just goes to show how music is a universal language.
Not only was it eye-opening, but I had lots of fun. The group was awesome, and I love Rosie and our fun tobacco deep-conversation adventure. We brought guitars and marshmallows and built a fire on the beach the last night we were there. The moon was so bright it made the water almost glow. I felt very close to God that night. To see him in all his glory, even here, where there was so much pain. I could have sat there until morning, but it was cold, and I needed sleep.
My sorta life changing epiphany didn’t happen in Mexico, I occured it in LA when I went to stay with my aunt, Kindra. Kinda is awesome. She works in the editing department of Walt Disney on the Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2, and 3. She’s a successful editor and lives 7 blocks from Santa Monica Beach. She built her own career from the bottom starting with nothing. But all this is not why she’s so awesome. She’s awesome because she doesn’t take life for what it is. She takes more. She appreciates family and art and simple things like coffee from the Coffee Bean. She doesn’t gloat or boast; she takes her ideas seriously and doesn’t believe what she does just because someone told her to. I just love her attitude toward life. We talked politics and religion and family, and I realized I have much more in common with her than I originally thought. So anyway, that’s Kindra, and she made me think about life, and being in LA made me think about life, and seeing my friend Adam’s photos at a show he was holding in LA at the time also made me think about life.
On a side note, I told my mom that I wanted to move to southern California. She said, “We’ll see.” She told me I couldn’t apply to school there because it was too far away. So I went to Arizona, the next state over. She said everyone in California is liberals and it’s full of freaks. I took a picture of a freak for her:
Tuesday morning, all depressed and annoyed with life, I sat in my English class and wrote most of this blog. I like to write stuff when I am really feeling it at the moment, or else it really doesn’t have the effect I want it to. First off, Kindra made me think about politics. Like I said before, we talked lots of politics. I just want to say for the record, just because of what I write or think doesn’t mean I’m turning into a crazy Canadian liberal. It just means that I want my views to be concreted on things that I believe. I’m not saying the liberals or the conservatives are right; I’m just saying, whatever you believe, believe it for a reason. I think that is where I have the most trouble because before I talked to Kindra, actually, before I came to college, I was a “very conservative Republican.” I wouldn’t even listen to anyone else’s ideas when I was in high school. I would have to say this is mostly because of my parents. Not that that’s bad or anything, but it just is the way it is. I think most people find that they believe most of what their parents believe until they either have a life changing experience or they go to college or they move away from home. I’m an advocate for moving away from home, it makes people think. My sister’s moving to London next year…good for her. Anyway…
I’m not saying that everyone has to change their political views to become enlightened, but at least think about what you stand for. One of the biggest issues in the country right now is abortion. There is an attempt right now, by the Republican run government, to reverse Roe vs. Wade. Now, being a Christian one would think I would give all hail to the Bush regimen to get this show on the road. But, I’m not, not even in the slightest. I’m not for abortion. I think too many women use it as a way out of an inconvenience, as contraception. But, outlawing abortion will only make women who can’t afford to leave the country for an abortion do it illegally. It’s dangerous; many women will be hurt because of illegal abortion. So many women get hurt now; they have serious uterus damage, etc.; imagine if it was illegal. I just think it’s a bad idea. And then these doctors will be working under the table, literally, and crime will ‘increase’ and all sorts of crap will stem from this. Does the government really think that making abortions illegal will stop people from having them, or more to the root of the issue, stop people from having unprotected sex? No. It won’t. If you don’t agree with me, that’s fine. This is just what I think.
My dad asks me, “So, have you become liberal yet?” just because I went to college. No Dad, don’t fret. But it does say something for the liberals. If most people who go to college are thinkers, are smart, then why is it that most come out of college liberal? I compare New York where most people I met were lawyers and could speak three languages to rural Tennessee. Liberal vs. Conservative. I don’t know, maybe they have something here. But then again, sometimes I think liberalism is an excuse not to take responsibility.
One thing I don’t understand is that the religious right conservative party seems to subscribe to: “you earn it you deserve it, and if you can’t earn it, then you just need to work harder.” I’ve heard many times (and sadly have even said myself) in response to seeing a bum or the poor, “why don’t they just get a job, even if it’s at McDonalds?” But then Kindra told me that during someone’s Presidency (I don’t remember who) the government ran out of money and had to close many of the insane asylums, so all these people, who couldn’t really function in a normal setting, were just sent out in the world. Now they are bums and getting rap for it. Can you blame them? But what did Jesus do? Seriously, I’m not just being cliché…he was friends with the tax collectors and the widows and the orphans and the prostitutes and the sick and the poor. But, oh no, isn’t that a liberal stance? What shall we do, oh what shall we do? I just bugs me. Jesus didn’t subscribe to a political agenda, in fact he avoided the topic all together, so why are we so concerned? I’m not very good at arguing politics…there are like three people I know that are, my friend Joel from Indiana, my friend Kyle, and my friend Brad from Germany. All completely different stances, but each knows what they believe and why they believe it. I don’t care what political agenda you subscribe to, just know why you subscribe to it…although I feel somewhat of a hypocrite because I can’t defend everything I stand for, and some cases I don’t even know what I stand for. I kinda feel like Kerry, pleasing everyone because I can’t set on something and defend it.
One thing Kindra asked me about was sex before marriage and how I felt about it. I told her I was saving myself, staying abstinent, until I get married. She asked me if this stems from religious beliefs or if it is more a personal thing. This really got me thinking. I mean, it definitely stems from religious beliefs originally. I probably wouldn’t think this way if I hadn’t been exposed to religion at an early age and made believe that this is the way the Christians do it. But I think now it is more of a personal thing, a gift I want to give my husband, to say I’ve been with no one but you, I’ve saved this for only you even when I didn’t know you. I think that’s awesome, but is it really because “I love Jesus” that I’m saving myself? To be honest, I don’t think it is. He gave us commands, and to be honest, if you follow them you’ll stay out of trouble, and I think that’s some of it. Think of all the trouble I’m avoiding my not having sex. No STD’s, no pregnancy, no strong emotional ties. I do feel convicted about having sex before marriage, and I know that’s a God thing…
I saw my friend Adam’s art exhibit about Uganda, and it really was moving. It made me want to go there tomorrow. It also made me want to pursue the creative bug in me. In high school I was so concerned with getting good grades that I didn’t take any art classes because you could only get A’s in them and not A+’s. That was the biggest mistake of my life. I love art, I love being creative, I love photography. The exhibit and Mexico just made me realize that there is something more out there. It’s like an emptiness that needs to be filled. Much of that is filled with Christ, but there is still this little hole that screams to me about loving people. I think it’s great when people bring the gospel to foreign lands, more power to them, but these Africans need more than the gospel. They need food and clean water and education and homes for orphans. I don’t want to go just to “proclaim the gospel” I want to go and do something just like we were digging dirt in Mexico. We were doing something, getting something accomplished for someone else, and I felt so alive. I want to go and do something. Mostly I just feel like something is missing from my life, like there’s something more than just going to college, getting a degree, getting a job, getting married, and living a cushy little life in suburban America. I just don’t know what it is. I need to find it, and I don’t know where to look.
Mostly I’m just sick of all this superficial bullshit. I’m sick of people saying they need to do something and don’t do it. I’m sick of people thinking the world revolves around them. Mostly I just want people to stop talking and take some action.
Me and Kindra at Universal after seeing the backlot and Wysteria Lane (yay):
Amazing photographer Adam:
On a lighter note, yesterday I was cantering to a jump on my horse and he spooked at a leadrope on the ground and ran out and I flew over his head, landed on my side in the dirt, hurt myself, and looked like a huge fool. This is exactly how it looked except I went over the jump and my horse didn’t (hehe):
At the Jump
During the Jump
After the Jump
I now have a large bruise on my left leg and my right hip doesn’t want to hold my leg up anymore, great.
On another lighter note:
A U of A golf cart that takes handicapped and injured students home and to class was driving down Mountain with two people in it. Right at the moment when the golf cart was passing an intersection an SUV decided that was the opportune moment to cross traffic. With a great squeal of tires the SUV smashed right into the golf cart. Luckily, no one was hurt, but seriously, funniest thing I have seen in a long time.
Footprints in the Sand - Santa Monica Beach
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Family Pics
I just uploaded some picutres of my family from my cousin's wedding this summer and these are some of my favorites:
My sis and I livin' it up.
Christa and I.
It really doesn't need much explaination
My sis and I livin' it up.
Christa and I.
It really doesn't need much explaination
Family Pics Continued...
Cody all precious and stuff.
Dad and I dancing.
Having a good time during the father, daughter dance.
My really cool brother Justin.
Family Pics Even More Continued...
These were outside before the wedding:
Oh we know we look good.
Me and Daddy.
Mom and Dad.
Precious.
Oh we know we look good.
Me and Daddy.
Mom and Dad.
Precious.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Some Thoughts About Life
Sometimes, I really don't know about life. I know God has everything in control, and He has the most AMAZING plan for me, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I knew what it was. Some stuff just falls into place so amazingly, like living at the Casa next year, and making an incredible group of girlfriends this semester. And then some stuff is just frustrating, like what the heck I'm going to do this summer, why do I have so many boy problems, and if I really know what I should be doing with my life. All I really want to do is buy some 1000 acre ranch in the middle of Colorado and live with the mountains, and the sunsets, and the snow, and the rain, and marvel in God's glory. But then I realize, unfortunately, all that takes money and, that, my friends, is something I do not have. I'm majoring in business, but all I really want to do is get out of college, and get married, and have lots of kids, and ride horses. Nothing is necessarily going wrong with my life; I am just in a state of confusion and frustration. Christine said to me the other day after I told her that I feel life crashing in on me:
"Jenna, is God good?"
"Yeah."
"Is God good when amazing stuff is happening in your life and you feel his
presence?"
"Especially."
"Is he still good when everything is going wrong?"
"Yeah," I said.
But it made me think. I think I have the opposite problem of what Christine was insinuating. Most of the time when stuff is going crappy, I turn straight to God because I know He's the only one that can fix it. But often when things are going well, I neglect God and His influence because I just forget that everything that is happening is because of Him. This is so foolish. That's why yesterday I was so thankful to see his glory in everything he created because I forget and it makes me so sad. Why would I forget to praise God for all His majesty when everything is going so well? I don't know...
But either way, I think my point is that Christine is an amazing friend, and I just have to be patient with life. It’s hard to be patient. We are a people that want here and now. But I know I can’t even fathom the greatness God has in store. It seems that people say that a lot and they don’t look to the here and now. Right now God’s blessed me with incredible friends and the opportunity to go to a great school. He’s taught me more than I thought I needed to learn in these past 2 years. He’s given me opportunities that I can’t even dream, like going to Germany and bringing my horse down here. He’s constantly provided for me financially and let me live way above my means in many situations. I said two years ago, God has amazing things in store for me, yet I’m living them out everyday. Sometimes though, it’s sad because I don’t even see it.
"Jenna, is God good?"
"Yeah."
"Is God good when amazing stuff is happening in your life and you feel his
presence?"
"Especially."
"Is he still good when everything is going wrong?"
"Yeah," I said.
But it made me think. I think I have the opposite problem of what Christine was insinuating. Most of the time when stuff is going crappy, I turn straight to God because I know He's the only one that can fix it. But often when things are going well, I neglect God and His influence because I just forget that everything that is happening is because of Him. This is so foolish. That's why yesterday I was so thankful to see his glory in everything he created because I forget and it makes me so sad. Why would I forget to praise God for all His majesty when everything is going so well? I don't know...
But either way, I think my point is that Christine is an amazing friend, and I just have to be patient with life. It’s hard to be patient. We are a people that want here and now. But I know I can’t even fathom the greatness God has in store. It seems that people say that a lot and they don’t look to the here and now. Right now God’s blessed me with incredible friends and the opportunity to go to a great school. He’s taught me more than I thought I needed to learn in these past 2 years. He’s given me opportunities that I can’t even dream, like going to Germany and bringing my horse down here. He’s constantly provided for me financially and let me live way above my means in many situations. I said two years ago, God has amazing things in store for me, yet I’m living them out everyday. Sometimes though, it’s sad because I don’t even see it.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
I'm now a certified mechanic
I would just like to say that I'm very proud of myself today because when I was sitting on the sidewalk watching the sunset, I noticed that the bottom panel underneath my car had lost 2 bolts and was dragging on the ground. So, I drove my car along the edge of our rocks so it was inclined and I could climb underneath, and then I fixed it all by myself :) Yay! I felt really cool climbing under my car and getting all dirty and stuff, but I was kinda dissapointed that at least five different guys walked past and didn't even ask if I needed any help. geeze. I didn't want to have to drive all the way to San Diego with the panel dragging on the ground. But it kinda pisses me off becuase I asked the guys at Brake Masters to fix it at least seven times. I even checked it when they were done. Instead of bolting it back together, they merely tied the panel on with string unfortunately I couldn't see that just by glancing under the car, I had to wait for the string to break...who does that? Seriously.
Now the sky is blue.
I was driving out to the barn today, about 3:30 because my work got cancelled, and the sky was the most incredible mix of dark and sun and white and rain and snow I had ever seen. In front of me was a huge rain cloud. The rain was falling so hard I couldn't see the mountains behind it. Then I looked to my right and the sun was shining on the tops of huge white clouds, they were glowing and had specks of rainbow. Then it started to rain, and then snow, but the sun was still shining. I looked over at the Catalinas and then up at the sky and wondered how anyone could not believe there was a God. Just looking at the beauty he created on this earth is enough to blow my mind away.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Yay, D
I'm afraid my disasterous test paid off with a lovely grade of D. And not the 68% kind of D, no, it was the 60% kind of D. The kind that if it was one percent lower it would be an F. I really don't know what to think of this. I don't think I've ever even gotten a B on a test...so this was a nice awakening to the joys of failure. In fact, the class average was an F. An F. The average.
So, for the rest of the day I felt like a miserable failure. In addition to my D, I was hammered by my workshop group for my essay on Christ as a teacher. I tried to explain that it was written solely for a Christian audience, but they didn't take to kindly to that either. One lady said, "I like how it's about spirituality, but maybe you should take all the Jesus stuff out of your essay, yeah, take Jesus out of your essay." Which was kinda confusing considering the essay IS ABOUT JESUS! But whatever. And then I ripped a hole in my favorite pair of jeans on my bike. GOSH, NOBODY!
I told Christine how I felt like like was sucking at life. She was so awesome, bringing me back to reality and telling me I just need to give it up to Christ because I'd been doing it all myself. She hit the nail on the head, I was trying to do everything myself, so as of yesterday, I'm not doing anything myself anymore. Sometimes we just need a swift kick in the butt to remind us of where we stand in this spectrum of eternity. And seriously, that test, it doesn't matter not even one miniscule in the sceme of life. Sometimes I just need to remember that. So Christine made me feel better, and then I met Kyle for coffee, and that made me feel better because I got to hear a lovely story about raising four kids on his own, while going to school, and going to work, and heaven knows I can't remember the name of his 'favorite' kid, was it Evanescence? :) Anyway, and I went to work and bought grocieries which is one of my favorite things to do, the grocieries, not the work. Oh, and then I had Good Breakfast Day last night - happy happy, joy joy.
Then I got a box from my preshie mommy and she sent me a card that said, "Now you can look awesome at Eller next year." I looked in the box and she had bought me a new suit and pink shirt and sent this month's issue of Relevant. She's so wonderful! Man, I miss my family.
So, for the rest of the day I felt like a miserable failure. In addition to my D, I was hammered by my workshop group for my essay on Christ as a teacher. I tried to explain that it was written solely for a Christian audience, but they didn't take to kindly to that either. One lady said, "I like how it's about spirituality, but maybe you should take all the Jesus stuff out of your essay, yeah, take Jesus out of your essay." Which was kinda confusing considering the essay IS ABOUT JESUS! But whatever. And then I ripped a hole in my favorite pair of jeans on my bike. GOSH, NOBODY!
I told Christine how I felt like like was sucking at life. She was so awesome, bringing me back to reality and telling me I just need to give it up to Christ because I'd been doing it all myself. She hit the nail on the head, I was trying to do everything myself, so as of yesterday, I'm not doing anything myself anymore. Sometimes we just need a swift kick in the butt to remind us of where we stand in this spectrum of eternity. And seriously, that test, it doesn't matter not even one miniscule in the sceme of life. Sometimes I just need to remember that. So Christine made me feel better, and then I met Kyle for coffee, and that made me feel better because I got to hear a lovely story about raising four kids on his own, while going to school, and going to work, and heaven knows I can't remember the name of his 'favorite' kid, was it Evanescence? :) Anyway, and I went to work and bought grocieries which is one of my favorite things to do, the grocieries, not the work. Oh, and then I had Good Breakfast Day last night - happy happy, joy joy.
Then I got a box from my preshie mommy and she sent me a card that said, "Now you can look awesome at Eller next year." I looked in the box and she had bought me a new suit and pink shirt and sent this month's issue of Relevant. She's so wonderful! Man, I miss my family.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Großartig Reiten Tag
Wissen Sie wann alles ist so wundervoll, dass Sie nicht lächeln stoppen können? Heute war daß für mich. Ich hatte eine Reitlektion, und mein Pferd war sehr gut. Sein bein tüt weh, aber wir reiten und springen sowieso. Die Gymnastik war am besten, aber wir hatten springen die letztes woche ohne Sattel, so es war einfach. Jerri sagt ich gelächelt wann ich sprang, ich weiß nicht, aber daß ist gut für Reitturnieren ich schätze. Aber mit sein abgesperrt Knie, wir müssen zu kleiner Absprunge zurück gehen. Ich wünsche, daß er sich nicht verletzen würde. Mann, niemands!
Ich bin müde und muß schlafen, dann muß ich eine Hausarbeit schreiben. Heute war einer Großartiger Reiten Tag.
Guten Schluss! Tschüss!!!
Ich bin müde und muß schlafen, dann muß ich eine Hausarbeit schreiben. Heute war einer Großartiger Reiten Tag.
Guten Schluss! Tschüss!!!
Prayer to the Senate
"Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgiveness and to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done.
We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values.
We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.
We have rewarded laziness and called it welfare.
We have killed our unborn and called it choice.
We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable.
We have neglected to discipline our children and called it building self esteem.
We have abused power and called it politics.
We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.
We have polluted the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression
We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.
Search us, Oh, God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free. Amen!"
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Some Stuff About Whatever
Michelle is one of most awesome people I have ever met. We had a lovely painting, homework, coffee bonding time yesterday in which we could just spill our brains. It was wonderful. Sometimes, you just need that, to spill your brains onto the floor, mop them up, and suck them back up through a straw. I'm very excited to live at the Casa next year, yeah.
Another exciting thing: Now that I have mastered, sorta, the art of controlling my aim, I LOVE Halo. I know...hypocrite, but whatever, you can all suck it. What's better than brandishing a high powered rifle and shooting someone in the face while you walk by? Brandinshing a rocket and shooting people in the face as you walk by.
I've decided that all guys are superficial.
And frustrating.
Too bad we need them to make babies.
Yesterday I went out to take a trail ride around 5:30 and got to watch the sunset. There is nothing that makes me happier than watching a sunset, except watching a sunset on horseback with the wind blowing in my hair. A note to anyone who ever tries to impress me: Gate's Pass.
I'm going to ride. Hopefully my horse is not lame anymore. Gosh, nobody.
Another exciting thing: Now that I have mastered, sorta, the art of controlling my aim, I LOVE Halo. I know...hypocrite, but whatever, you can all suck it. What's better than brandishing a high powered rifle and shooting someone in the face while you walk by? Brandinshing a rocket and shooting people in the face as you walk by.
I've decided that all guys are superficial.
And frustrating.
Too bad we need them to make babies.
Yesterday I went out to take a trail ride around 5:30 and got to watch the sunset. There is nothing that makes me happier than watching a sunset, except watching a sunset on horseback with the wind blowing in my hair. A note to anyone who ever tries to impress me: Gate's Pass.
I'm going to ride. Hopefully my horse is not lame anymore. Gosh, nobody.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Z = 0.43 ?!?
The worst feeling in the world is going into a test purely confident, and then reading the first question thinking it might as well be in Japanese. This was my fate today in Statistics, i just kept getting more and more frustrated, which made me more and more frustrated...at one point I was doing a question just as time was running up. This is a bit how it went:
I caculated the value z=0.43
Umashankar: Test is up, put down your pencil.
Me (Thinking): What the hell do I do with z=0.43!?!?! 0.43, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!?!?!?!
Umashankar: Get up to the front of the room.
Me: Look at the tables???? Yes! Look at the tables!
Umashankar: I said get down here now.
Table: 0.4803
Me: What the hell do I do with 0.4803?!?!?!?
Umashankar: If you are still sitting in a seat your test is not getting graded!!
Me (proceeding to sit on the floor): Subtract 0.5????? Well, I haven't used C in a while.
Umashankar: If you are not at the front of the room in 2 seconds...
Me: (walking to the front of the room bubbling in C for that question, and C for the other 5 questions I didn't get to): AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
As you can see, it wasn't Good Test Day today. Blasted Statistics.
But, I don't think I missed any on my accounting test, which I guess makes it Sorta Good Test Day.
However, tomorrow is Good Breakfast Day, so life is good. For the most part.
I caculated the value z=0.43
Umashankar: Test is up, put down your pencil.
Me (Thinking): What the hell do I do with z=0.43!?!?! 0.43, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!?!?!?!
Umashankar: Get up to the front of the room.
Me: Look at the tables???? Yes! Look at the tables!
Umashankar: I said get down here now.
Table: 0.4803
Me: What the hell do I do with 0.4803?!?!?!?
Umashankar: If you are still sitting in a seat your test is not getting graded!!
Me (proceeding to sit on the floor): Subtract 0.5????? Well, I haven't used C in a while.
Umashankar: If you are not at the front of the room in 2 seconds...
Me: (walking to the front of the room bubbling in C for that question, and C for the other 5 questions I didn't get to): AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
As you can see, it wasn't Good Test Day today. Blasted Statistics.
But, I don't think I missed any on my accounting test, which I guess makes it Sorta Good Test Day.
However, tomorrow is Good Breakfast Day, so life is good. For the most part.
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