Right now, I feel very lonely. Not an ‘I don’t have any friends and nobody loves me' lonely, but a lonely that makes my heart hurt, not a big hurt, not a lost somebody hurt, but a hurt that makes me sit in the dark of my car listening to Crash and write this. It’s a hurt that makes me turn to God and ask him to give me patience. A hurt that causes me to tear up, but no tears fall. ‘Nothing taken away, but there should be someone more’ kind of hurt. Someone, a man, to love me and hold me and take care of me. I want a man to love me so much it hurts him, hurts him like I’m hurting right now. To not want to live a day without me, someone who will die for me. Someone to give me security and strength and wisdom. A lump is forming in my throat, and I try to swallow. I just need patience, but patience is waiting for life to start not realizing I’m living it every day.